Wisdom

Someone has recently coached me in the ways of happiness, someone who is wonderfully close to me. She is also quite similar to me in a number of ways, and was able to verbalize my theories but in words all her own, and I have since been enlightened to her wisdom. She was right, terribly so, and I am more than ready to take those steps toward making my own hapiness.

Also, I have butterflies in my stomach :] I had the cutest, most non-descript moment of life (or of the past two weeks or so) today, and I am glad to say that it has led to what may be an even cuter adventure ahead. I'm not giving any details for fear of jinxing or getting ahead of myself, but I must at least say how unbelievably giggly I am. Michelle knows what that means. haha

The friend dilemma has been solved. On a sidenote, I've never known how to spell dilemma. Dilema. Dilemna. Dillemma. Dillema. But I must digress. The friendship [problem] I had previously spoke of has been cleared of my mind. I have come to realize that I have been toiling over it's success just as I had in the past and there is really no point. I cared for that friend deeply, but he/she has become my new Tommy, and that isn't something I'm looking for. It hurts to let them go, but; Goodbye, it was great while it lasted.

The family, well, is the same. I don't understand why I am so often compelled to update on their behavior when they are merely a people of cycles, adhering to a monotonous agenda of happiness, anger, tension, forgiveness...and around again. So, I will only say that they are all in fine health.

Until another time, I will leave with......

1. I miss you Michelle-y.
2. Thank you Bryana :]
3. Kami, I have been more selfish than ever lately. You would be proud!
4. I am still distancing myself, but I have accepted it.
5. Work is getting better and better. And better.
6. I am not a robot, but a woman on a mission.
7. I want to go swimming.
8. I get paid in mere days.
9. I am still learning, despite my lack of a class schedule.
10. My arthritis is a beezy, but I'm learning to live with my disease.


"I love you more"

Taste.

So, I just reread my last post for the first time and have come to a realization...I should really spell check.

Also, Kami brought to my attention the underlying depression that piece gave when I actually thought it was a semi-hopeful entry.

Otherwise, I'm back to give updates on life since "Therapy".

My family is taking it day by day and we are seemingly coping with eachother's existence. haha. That is to say, we are being more patient with one another.

I'm skateboarding more. It's pretty refreshing and gives me time to think while burning up some calories.

Work is becoming comfortable, which is a great relief. And the managers have begun removing their white robes for more friendly uniforms, which is neat. Some of the servers still have a stick up their ass, but it is totally made up for when I find out I have tips at the end of every shift?? Oh yeah, it's true.

I am no longer an appropriate measure for the extent of my zombie-dom. I have been around work or my family for the past week or so, and normal human contact is limited, so I will say it's a sign of worsening withdrawal. My last skate sesh I found myself over the teacher/friend. Work is just a facade in itself and my smile is genuine, but for everyone else, not me. The 'rents and I are getting along well, which is never a good sign. And I'm apparently on the path to losing a friend, which was semi their choice, mostly my insecurity sparking theirs, but I would say both are equally at fault. My best friend is in Big Bear, for about 8 more days..and if I don't get a week from sunday/monday off, then I won't see her for 11 days.

Despite the disparing tones, I feel its all a step toward a happy future? I'm being optimistic? I'm Ron Burgundy?